"IF ONLY..."

Tears of pity cloud my vision as I stroke the long hair that hides her emaciated body. I had no idea she was so thin. . “Oh, Mattie,” my heart cries, “It didn’t have to come to this. If only you could have trusted us.”

            She sniffs the food dish then lifts her chin to touch my husband’s outstretched fingers. He kneels down and she purrs and rubs his knees with her frail body. Her hunger for companionship is stronger than her need for food.

            For seventeen years she has lived in our barn. But this was the first time she let us touch her. Now…in her last days of life, she found the courage to be friends.

            Years ago, her abandoned mother sheltered in our hay loft and presented us with a family of kittens. But Mama and her two daughters refused to accept our friendship. They ran and hid whenever we came near. Mattie was the worst; so tormented by her fears, we saw her only from a distance.

            Eventually, Mama and Missy passed away and Mattie was left alone with no one to curl up with. For two years she continued to run and hide but with old age bearing down on her, loneliness gave her the courage she needed.

            “Oh, Mattie, I grieve for the special times we missed out on. If only you had been brave enough to trust us. We had so much to offer, a home, food, love and tender care, a lap to sleep on, and plenty of cuddles.  If only…If only…Your life could have been so different. But here you are, in your last days... We’ll make them the best we can but your fears have robbed you of so much…”

            The story had been the same for my father. He was in his eighties the last years of his life before he stopped running and hiding from his Maker. Like Mattie, it could have been due to fear or maybe a lack of knowledge and understanding or outright rebellion against God. I cannot say.

            But when he stopped running and hiding he became a changed man. His anger and hard heart were replaced with compassion and love. He tenderly cared for our mother during her last years and apologized to his children. His time was short but it was filled with a wonderful peace.

            It is never too late to accept Jesus as savior. But I ask myself if only he had repented sooner. If only he had accepted the Lord and spent his eighty years being loved by God. How different his life would have been! Not only his life, but the life of his children and his children’s children! That one decision would have affected generations to come…

            The story was the same for a rich, young ruler in the Bible …He was afraid to give up his wealth and follow Jesus…

“Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor…and come, follow Me…”

But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich.”

Luke 18:22-23

“If only…” it is sad that so many fears keep us from Jesus…

“The time has come,” He said. “The kingdom of God has come near.

Repent and believe the good news!”

 Mark 1:15

“If only…”